Smoking weed in room
Growing up, my mother was (and still is) a big stoner, so I’ve never been concerned with getting caught green-handed at home. However, throughout the years I’ve exercised discretion while getting high in hotels and dorms, at the Waffle House, during concerts, in the middle of the disco, at the company holiday party, in the basement of my friend’s house paranoid on acid, in the stairwell of a music studio in midtown Manhattan, in the hot tub of the Ritz-Carlton at 2 a.m. before being escorted out by security…I could go on for days. Needless to say, learning to be a stealthy stoner is a bright idea. Pay attention while I dish you some tips.
Anticipate Your Needs
When toking on the down low, you want easy access to everything you could possibly need. I recommend putting together a stash bag, like one from the AnnaBís collection, full of essentials: breath mints, gum, eye drops, fragrance oil, miniature air freshener, moist toilettes, lighter, matches, poker or paper clip, pipe cleaners, one-hitter, cannabis, etc.
Choose a Method
Whatever you do, don’t smoke a blunt or a joint because the smoke is uncontrollable and you will get busted. Instead, use a bowl with a lid like the Proto Pipe or a one-hitter. Or skip combustion all together and vaporize your cannabis. CO2 vape oil pens and portable dry leaf vaporizers like the PAX 2 are super discreet, extremely convenient and easy to hide. Plus, the vapors emitted are much tamer and the odor is subtle. Just be sure to keep your bud in an air-tight jar. It’ll give off more aroma than your plumes of vapor.
Related: Stoner Buddy Movies
Banish the Smell
The sweet and pungent aroma of cheeba is easily recognizable. You’ll want to mask or eliminate the odor the best you can. First, close all vents and block the draft under your door. You can use a towel for the door, but I prefer a draft stopper because it looks less sketchy. Consider investing in an air purifier. They’re spendy, but well worth the investment. Scented candles, incense, and air sanitizers are helpful, too. In college, I perfected the art of smoking through a spoof and never got caught. Make your own by taking an empty toilet paper or paper towel roll and taping a folded drier sheet on one end. Simply, exhale into the open end for fresh-laundry-scented smoke. Or, you can buy one of these handy personal smoke filters: Smoke Buddy, Sploofy or Snubbz. Also, next time you’re in a head shop, look for a tiny spoof disguised as chapstick. It makes a handy addition to your stash bag.
Eliminate the Smoke
Open a window and place a box fan facing outside in the sill. Turn it on high. After you take a hit, cover the top of your bowl or one hitter. Then, exhale slowly into the back of the fan. If you have another fan in the room, allow it to oscillate.
Hide the Noise
You may cough or get a case of the giggles. Not to mention, the click of your lighter may tip someone off. Do yourself a favor and play some background music. Electric fans will help create ambient noise as well. You could turn on the TV, but it’s generally a buzzkill. If you’re in the bathroom, run the shower or faucet. Keep a pillow or hoodie close by to muffle uncontrollable fits of laughter and the like.
Survey the Scene
Is the smoke alarm disarmed? Are the doors locked? Are the vents closed? Is the window open? Is the draft under the door blocked? Is the air purifier turned on? Is music playing? Is your 420-fearing roommate around? Are your parents home? Are your kids home? Where’s your stash bag? Before your judgement gets a little hazy, take note of your surroundings, make sure you have everything you need, and take any last minute precautions to avoid unexpected encounters.
Devise an Emergency Backup Plan
Accidents happen. Maybe, after a few drinks, you think it’s a good idea to hot box the apartment. Perhaps, you’re smoking up with inexperienced tokers and someone knocks over the bong, allowing the stench and smoke to escape. You may forget to towel the door. One of your friends may start squealing like a pig. Stay cool, spray air sanitizer, open a window, hide your stash, and take a walk. What happens if a neurotic roommate or asshole neighbor stops by to complain? Apologize and send them on their way. What happens if the police come knocking at your door? Stay cool and know your 4th Amendment rights.
Stealthy Stoner Bonus Tips:
- Smoke up in the bathroom. It’s the one place you can get away with spending extended periods of time without someone barging in.
- Cover your fire alarm with a plastic shower cap to keep it from going off while you’re blazing.
- Keep an empty beer bottle around. If someone calls you out for acting silly, blame it on the malty beverage.
- Explore the discrete world of medicated edibles, tinctures, and patches. No smell, no smoke, no problems.
How to get lit without getting caught.
8 Tips on How to Smoke Weed in Your Room on the Low
Unfortunately for some of us, we must keep our weed smoking on the low. If you live in your parents’ house or a college dorm, this could be especially so. But it can even be true even if your housemates are a little bit judgemental. Well, if you have to keep things discreet, we have some advice for you in this article.
- 1. Herbal smoking blends
- 2. The wet towel method
- 3. Make your own smoke filter
- 4. Start vaping
- 5. Odour-neutralizing candles
- 6. Smoke in the bathroom
- 7. Air purifiers
- 8. Use a bong!
Because despite being a legal adult – finally free to make your own choices – you will still suffer if you get caught smoking weed in your bedroom or your dorm room. Well, at least that’s true if you live in a college dorm or with your parents. Unfortunately, not all college students are totally liberated into their marijuana experience yet.
It’s okay! Almost everybody goes through it at some stage, and it doesn’t last forever. So, in the meantime, we have some advice on how to hide the fact that you smoke weed usage. If you absolutely must smoke weed in your room, there are some ways to keep some authoritative figures from knowing what you’re up to.
1. Herbal smoking blends
Maybe your parents or college co-ordinators don’t want you smoking at all. But at the risk of getting caught smoking, you can save yourself from the lecture about marijuana. There’s far less stigma attached to herbal blends and they are legal. Mixing a herbal blend in with your weed can convince your elders that you are just enjoying the taste of some flowers. There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?
How to Tell Your Parents That You Smoke Weed: 8 Tips
2. The wet towel method
This method is a classic among smokers. It is a really simple way of stopping the smoke from escaping your room. It means nobody outside will smell it. However, that doesn’t really solve the problem of the smell inside the room.
Dampen a towel and roll it up into a sausage. Lay it across the gap at the bottom of the door and make sure it goes the whole way across. Open the window and smoke out the window and that will ensure that most of the smoke exits your room. Otherwise, when you open your door to go to the fridge or bathroom, a cloud of smoke will follow you!
3. Make your own smoke filter
Smoke filters catch all the smoke you exhale so that you leave no trace! They are extremely effective at catching the smoke as well as the smell and are perfect for dorm rooms and bedrooms. You can easily make one with a toilet paper roll, an elastic band, a piece of material and some cotton wool. If you don’t have cotton wool, you can just scrunch up a sock or a piece of material.
Cover one end of the roll with the piece of material and secure it with the elastic band. Stuff the inside of the roll full of cotton wool or a sock, depending on what is available. When you exhale, exhale into your smoke filter, and nobody will be any wiser!
4. Start vaping
If you’re not totally stuck on the idea of smoking joints, you can get into the habit of vaping. It makes almost no smell, and water vapour disappears quickly in a room. Smoke, on the other hand is smelly and thick, and sticks around for a long time. Vaping is ideal for anybody who wants to smoke weed on the low, because it also only requires a hit or two to do the job.
5. Odour-neutralizing candles
There are actually candles out there that are specifically marketed towards stoners who need to cover up the smell. It’s strange though, because sometimes these candles don’t themselves have an odour. However, they contain properties that cover up odours.
They can often be purchased at head shops and can definitely be found online. It is best to have a look at reviews to find out which ones are the most effective at covering up the smell of cannabis!
6. Smoke in the bathroom
Most bathrooms have a fan inside, if not a window, too. So, perhaps the best way to avoid getting caught is to pretend you are having a shower, and smoke into the fan. If there is a window then you can smoke out the window and that’s even better. The steam from the shower will take care of most of the smell in there and you can even burn a candle for ambience!
7. Air purifiers
Although air purifiers don’t get rid of the smell of weed immediately, they can do a good job of getting rid of whatever is left over after a good smoke. If you smoke in your room regularly or especially at night, having an air purifier is handy for keeping it fresh in there. Overnight, it will get rid of the lingering smell.
8. Use a bong!
At the end of the day, a bong is going to be far less smelly and obvious than smoking a joint or a spliff. Somehow, the smell when smoking through glass is far less intense than paper. So, save your spliffs and blunts for the riverside, or for hanging out in the park with your friends. Smoke the bong inside and lower the risks of getting caught.
Did we leave anything out? Did you MacGyver a failproof smoke filter? Let us know in the comments and help out your buds!
Not all stoners have been liberated into smoking weed freely in their rooms. If you’re one of those stoners, learn how to smoke on the low by reading here.